Five Methods Of Avoiding Wealth
Note to the irony-impaired: Of course I want you to be rich, not poor.
Fear of success can be a wonderful thing. In a world full of a millionaires and billionaires, who needs one more? Why trouble with all that when being poor is so much easier?
Anybody with a brain can tell you how to get rich… for a price. Actually, the secret to getting rich is ridiculously simple: Make sure that more comes in than goes out every month, and eventually you will become rich. Now you need never pay for another “Get Rich in Your Jammies” e-book about making money. You can do it if you choose it. I just told you how.
But, like I said, you might want to consider staying poor. The tax burden is much lighter. A lot of burdens are much lighter. For a rich person, the thought of not driving a BMW is intolerable. For a pauper, the thought of not driving at all is not at all troubling. It may even be a relief.
If you are worried read on. I am about to reveal…
The Five Secrets of Perpetual Poverty:
1. Keep fooling yourself into thinking that hard work will result in success… as you work for someone else. Pay attention: Working hard for someone else is like giving all of your own profit to a middleman. Working for somebody else almost guarantees that you will stay poor. The one exception to this rule is if you join a union. You won’t get rich as a union member, but you won’t stay poor either. So beware of unions and beware of entrepreneurial thoughts if you want to live as a poor person forever.
2. Drink a lot on a regular basis. Drinking alone won’t necessarily lead to poverty, but the more you drink, the better your chances of ending up dead and penniless in the gutter just like your favorite poet. Even if you don’t meet that fate, blowing your money at the bar is a great way to put yourself on the path to poverty.
3. Never make any sacrifices or delay pleasure. Go ahead and buy that car that you can’t really afford. get the deluxe cable package. Eat out instead of cooking. The goal here is to remain poor, not to save money. The deeper in debt you go for the things that you think will make you happy, the better.
4. Whatever you do, never — EVER — find fault with yourself or make any attempt to learn anything. Self-improvement is the mortal enemy of poverty. The more you learn, the greater chance that you will earn. Keep making the same mistakes, telling yourself that you know everything you need to know, and generally being an ignorant jerk. That’s the way to stay poor, not that all poor people are ignorant jerks. By the way, a lot of rich people are ignorant jerks so this step alone won’t open the door to lifelong poverty, but it certainly helps.
5. Pay no attention to your finances. Why bother checking your credit scores and reports? You want to pay the highest possible price for everything. Minding your Ps and Qs will get you nowhere fast if you’re trying to stay poor. Make sure that you pay as much as you can for insurance and on your interest rates.
I can confidently predict that if you take to heart all five of these highly sought secrets to a poor and simple life, that is the life you will have. May poverty be you friend!
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